She wont perform oral sex on you. What can you do?

You find yourself in bed with a woman that turns you on like crazy. You've spent time with each other, you have all sorts of crazy sex, but she won't go down on you. You try talking to her about it, telling her how great it would make you feel. What is up with this, and is there anything you can do about it?

To start, it might help if you understood where she was coming from. First off, in our culture, oral is still taboo in a lot of areas and beliefs. A person who has spent their entire life believing that they will be a dirty person or they will go to hell if they put a penis in their mouth isn't going to suddenly shake off a full lifetime of belief.

What can you do about it?

First off, find out what her objection is. If it's something as simple as a concern about cleanliness, having her take a shower with you and watch you wash your cock (or, even better, help you wash it) should take care of her discomfort, and you can have soapy fun in the shower. Some women find it easier to try sucking a cock through a condom the first few times. You may not feel as much, but it sure beats not having her give it a try. After she has tried it a few times, she will be more comfortable and you can talk with her about taking the condom off. If your partner's objection is that she doesn't want semen in her mouth, maybe you can ask her to start off by licking the sides of your penis. After all, there's no semen there. Maybe next time, you can ask her to lick the side of the head. And so on.

Start Off Slow

Let women who are uncomfortable giving head start very slowly. If you scare them off, you lose out. So let them take their time. If they're willing to try some of this for you, it's a beginning, and shows that they aren't rejecting you but are uncomfortable with the act itself. Do not start pushing them to do something they're not ready for. You may want them to swallow your semen, but they are not going to want to even think about this at this point. A woman who wasn't willing to put your penis in her mouth or even lick it recently is not going to swallow a week later. If your partner is willing to try any part of the above suggestions, she is working against her natural inclination to please you, so let her take it slow. Do not make demands or try and use guilt to try and get what you want. Sex has to be a mutual act or both partners lose.

Willing Partners

The woman with moral objections is a lot less likely to be willing to suck you. If she believes that it is a sin or makes her a bad person - a slut - do you really want her to worry about these things? In particular if it is not a permanent relationship, would you want a woman to carry self-hatred over this? If you feel strongly about receiving oral sex from your partner, make sure you find partners that don't have strong moral qualms with doing it. You can't change another person, and there are plenty of women who don't mind - lots that even think it's fun. So why hook up with a woman who finds the idea of it that awful?

Some men are in long term relationships with women who feel this way. It is amazing that these men spend years nagging and browbeating the women they say they love to try to get them to do something that they find this deeply disturbing. If you love this woman, do all the other sexual things that she is willing to do. If you keep nagging about this, she will come to dread being naked with you because she will expect any act of affection or sex to end in guilt and nagging and demands.

Most women ARE willing to try to please you - especially if you do all you can to make it non-threatening, and you always do what you can to please them.

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